


Stay With Me

by rockwell_psycho



Category: Woman Walks Ahead (2017)
Genre: Cuddlefucking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Injury, Kissing, Light Angst, Mild Blood, Non-Graphic Violence, Oral Sex, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reader-Insert, Romantic Soulmates, Sharing a Bed, Soulmates, Tender Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23560636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockwell_psycho/pseuds/rockwell_psycho
Summary: Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890. They love each other, but they can’t be together… Or can they? There’s just one thing Colonel Silas Groves knows for sure - he will protect this woman at all costs. There are a lot of things he regrets in his life, but this is NOT one of them…New York, present day. You meet a man in the bar where you work. Just a random customer you’ve never seen before. But… Why does he seem so painfully familiar?Another time, another place… Similar stories? Do you believe in soulmates?..
Relationships: Silas Groves/Reader
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sure how many chapters will this story consist of. All I can say is I thought it’ll be shorter but then I started writing it down, and - oops. Well, we’ll see where it goes.
> 
> There’s no smut in this chapter, but later there will be sexual content in this story. I’ll warn you about it.

##  **Prologue**

_\- Stay with me, Silas, you hear me?.._

_Her voice is echoing in his ears. She’s right here, holding him, but it seems like miles away._

_\- You promised not to leave me… You promised!_

_She’s nearly sobbing, and he wants to reach for her, to tell her he’ll be fine, they both will now… But the haze is engulfing him, and her face is the last thing he sees before sinking into the darkness._

_He’s not sure if Heaven exists, but he knows, just knows that her face is more beautiful than all the angels up there. The most precious. And even if he won’t see this face again, well…_

_That was worth it._

* * *

##    
**New York** **, present day**

When the door opened and another customer entered the bar, you thought for a second it was your ex. But no, it’s not. Just a slightly similar jacket, that’s all.

“Damn, y/n. Stop being that paranoid”, - you think to yourself, shaking off the anxious tension. It’s been a few days since you saw that psycho last time, maybe he finally got bored stalking you?

This man is definitely here for the first time, even though his face and slightly slack posture seem somehow familiar. He’s got ginger beard and a bit messy hair and wears a leather jacket, dark frayed jeans and heavy boots. There’s a motorcycle helmet in his hand. He looks around, rubbing the back of his neck, and then finally makes his decision. Despite it’s a weekday and most of the tables are free, he approaches the bar and takes a seat at the counter, placing the helmet on a free stool next to him.

\- Can I help you, sir? - You ask with your general polite smile. Surprisingly, he smiles back and his stern face immediately softens. You notice those tiny sparkles of amusement in his eyes, and once again this expression seems vaguely familiar. It’s weird. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen this man before, but at the same time it’s like you know this smirk for ages. His eyes are warm hazel right now, but in a different light they are almost emerald green - for some reason you _know_ it. How?..

-Sir? - He cocks an eyebrow. - Am I really look like a “sir” to you, ma’am?

\- What can I say? - You shrug, smiling again, - Guess I’m just polite and a bit old fashioned, but I like the way it sounds. But the customer’s always right, so…

\- No, I like it too.

There’s a moment of silence, and you have a feeling he’s examining your face.

\- Anyway, can I have a coffee please?

\- Just… Coffee? - You blurt.

\- Yeah, something wrong with that?

\- Nothing. Just… No offence, but guys like you usually prefer stronger drinks.

\- Guys like me?

\- You’re not the first biker that comes around.

\- I’m not really a biker, - he chuckles softly. - I just like bikes. I like stronger drinks too though, but… Not today.

\- As I said, customer’s always right. What kind of coffee do you want? Espresso? Americano?

\- Espresso sounds nice.

You nod at him and turn to the coffee machine. While making coffee, you can feel his eyes on you. Normally you find it creepy when a stranger is staring at you. But this time it doesn’t give you much discomfort for some reason. Or… It’s just a different kind of discomfort you cannot quite explain. What a weird sensation…

When you place the cup on the counter in front of him, your fingers touch his hand for a split second and as you look up, your eyes are suddenly locked with his. It almost makes you blush.

\- I-is there anything else I can help you with?.. - You stutter.

\- No… - He keeps looking at you thoughtfully for a few seconds and then shakes his head. - No, just… Sorry, I just have a feeling I know you from some place…

Now this is getting _really_ weird.

\- Hope it’s not one of those cheesy pick-up lines… You don’t look like someone who uses them, - you let out a nervous giggle and he smiles.

\- No, it’s not, but really… It’s like I’ve already seen you somewhere, but I can’t remember. Like it was in a dream or something… Okay, now _this_ sounds totally like a cheesy pick-up line, - he chuckles. - Sorry, you probably think I’m a complete freak.

\- No, I don’t. Actually… Your face seems a bit familiar for me too, - you confess.

\- Really? - He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

\- Yeah, but… Maybe that’s because I have a good memory for faces in general. And you know, we live in a very small world, in fact. Once there was a customer, and I couldn’t remember where I saw his face, and then I realized I saw him on a photo my former classmate posted on Facebook.

\- I see what you mean, - he nods. - Well, never mind. How much do I owe you for the coffee?..

* * *

Your explanation sounds legit. You’ve always remembered faces better than names or dates. You may have seen him somewhere briefly and remembered - he’s a handsome man after all. Yes, it seems reasonable, except… How do you know the way he smiles? The way his eyes sparkle in the morning sunlight? The way he frowns or furrows his eyebrows when he’s confused or surprised? These little things you remember only when you _really_ know somebody. You even knew what kind of coffee he was going to choose before he said it out loud. But you don’t even know his name. Maybe you won’t even see him again. He paid, finished his coffee while you served another customer, wished you good night and left. Through the glass door you saw him putting on a helmet, getting on his bike, and a sinking feeling overwhelmed you.

Is that it, he just left? Well, what else did you expect? It’s life, not a movie after all.

Then you noticed a familiar car nearby, and it immediately brought you back to reality.

“ _Jesus, not again!..”_

You ask Jess, the young waitress, to look after the bar for a few minutes, decidedly go to the door and storm out.

\- Hey!

Immediately you hear the engine starting and the car pulls away. Of course it was him.

\- Motherfucker, - you mutter under your breath. - Goddamn stalker! When the fuck you will understand? It’s over. OVER! I’m done with this shit…

\- Was that your ex again? - Jess asks when you come back. - Damn, what a creep.

\- Yeah… - You nod with a tired sigh.

\- Nevermind. Just forget about him, - she smiles. - Think of something more positive, like… that biker who was sitting at the counter… He definitely liked you.

\- Shut up! - You huff. - He’s just a random customer.

\- You should have given this random customer your phone number, just saying, - she smirks.

\- Jessica.

\- Huh?

\- Why don’t you get back to work?

\- Okay, okay, - she rolls her eyes and heads back to the tables.

What a weird day.

* * *

##    
**Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

It’s rather late when Colonel Silas Groves approaches the small inn where he’s staying. The day on duty was hard. He wants to make everything right for all the sides involved, but some people just cannot hear the voice of reason; it exhausts him.

Groves knocks at the door twice before it opens. She stands in front of him with a candle in her hand.

\- Good evening, Colonel, - she says with the usual polite smile. Her eyes look stunningly beautiful when the fire reflects in them. Silas chases away this thought - she’s a married woman after all. He smiles back and nods as he steps across the threshold.

\- Good evening, ma’am. Forgive me if I disturbed your sleep…

\- It’s fine, I wasn’t sleeping. I’ve been reading in the kitchen, - she shrugs. - You must be hungry?

\- There’s no need to bother… - He tries to protest.

\- You don’t bother me at all, Colonel.

She nods her head inviting him to follow her to the kitchen, and he complies. She didn’t lie, there’s a book on the kitchen table. The room is lighter than the rest of the house - there’s a dim yet warm light of an old slush lamp.

She reaches one of the pots on the stove.

\- We had stewed beef for dinner. Turned out quite nice in my opinion. Of course it tasted better when it was hot…

\- Thank you, ma’am. I hardly deserve such kindness.

\- You’re always kind to me, and I’m kind to you, it’s simple as that, - she replies.

He watches her fumbling with the dishes and realizes something is wrong. She clearly avoids looking at him and turning her face in his direction, but at some point he notices.

\- Y/n.

She freezes in place, lowering her head as he makes a step closer. He can almost feel her shivering as he gently reaches her chin, tilting her face up. No, it wasn’t just a trick his eyes playing on him in this feeble light.

\- What is that? - He asks, the pad of his finger trailing along the area beneath her eye. It’s a little swollen and she winces even at his soft touch.

\- That? Oh… It’s just… I’m being so clumsy lately, it’s embarrassing, - she mumbles nervously. - I… I tripped on the wet floor and hit myself against the door, can you imagine?

\- Not to be meddlesome, - he says in a calm tone, but the look in his eyes is stern. - But I’ve seen all kinds of injuries, and this bruise doesn’t look like the one you can get just accidentally hitting yourself against the door.

She’s silent, but she doesn’t withdraw her eyes anymore, probably sensing there’s no need to deny the obvious.

\- Y/n, - He asks her carefully. - Are you alright? I mean… You and your husband…

\- Does it make any sense, Colonel? - She asks with sudden boldness, still looking him in the eyes.

\- I… Might be able to help…

\- Can you? Really? I don’t think so, - she shrugs and her voice is trembling. - Silas, I appreciate your concern. I really do. But let’s face it. He’s my husband and I’m his wife. If you try to do something about it, everyone in town will just tell you it’s none of your business. Just a regular family quarrel.

Groves sighs, his fingers brushing against her cheekbone. It’s hard to admit, but she’s probably right. No one would take such a thing seriously, but the thought of someone raising a hand to this woman makes him angry beyond words and he fights the desire to rush up to this man’s room and kick his teeth in right now, but that’s definitely not the most reasonable decision.

\- Did he hurt you before, - he asks, and feels a tiny bit relieved when she shakes her head no.

\- No, he didn’t. He… Always used to be jealous and rude, especially when he’s drunk, but it’s the first time he slapped me in the face. Hopefully the last one, now that I’m aware… I just didn’t expect that…

\- He won’t hurt you anymore. Not while I’m here, I swear, - Silas practically growls through clenched teeth, but this burning rage suddenly calms down when she cups his cheek with her gentle hand.

\- There’s nothing you can do, Silas, - she whispers softly. - But… Thank you. Thank you for being the one who cares.

She gives him a coy smile, her fingertips tracing the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes as he tries to smile back. He wants to grab her into his arms, pull her against his chest and protect her from any possible danger, but they’re just standing in the dimly lit kitchen, so impossibly close that one movement is enough for their lips to touch. And he almost decides to make this move when she pulls away.

\- I’ll better go, - she says. - Wash the plate after you finish eating, okay? Good night, Colonel.

With a heavy heart he gazes after her, as she leaves the kitchen. He doesn’t know _how_ yet, but he knows for sure - he won’t let this bastard do this to her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, whoever you are - your support means a lot.
> 
> This is what happens when you can’t decide if you want to write a character in his historical period or a modern AU version of him :D But seriously, the western part of the story came first, and then at some point I spotted Cloud Atlas on TV (I used to be obsessed with this movie), so this is where the whole soulmate thing came from. Also maybe you know The Immortal (2000) series with Lorenzo Lamas?.. There was a similar concept in one of the episodes...
> 
> Anyway, I had this idea in my head for quite a long while, and I have a plot structure in mind, but I’m still not 100% sure about the ending, so I plan to just go on writing and we’ll see.
> 
> I chose to write the western part from Silas’s POV because the 2 “yous” would be weird, right?
> 
> The story might turn out cheesy in a way, I switched my hopeless romantic mode on, but that’s because it’s first of all my escape from reality at the moment.
> 
> I guess that’s all I wanted to say about the first chapter. Once again, thank you. Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here’s Chapter 2! My hopeless romantic mode is back on, yep. There’s not much action here either, mostly conversations to reveal a bit of the characters’ backstories… I swear Chapter 3 is gonna be more intense :D For now I divide this story into 5 chapters in my head. It may change in the course of writing, but we’ll see.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter except a bit of angst and longing in the 1890 part.

##  **New York, present day**

_Warm breath is tickling the back of your neck, and you shiver in your sleep as his lips gently trace your shoulder and his beard is brushing against your skin. You don’t see his face, but you know for sure - no one in the entire world can make you feel so warm and safe._

_\- Wish I could spend the lifetime in your arms like this, - you whisper, and he tightens his grip around you, pulling you closer against his chest._

_\- I’ll never leave you. I Promise._

The buzz of your mobile phone drags you out of your slumber, and you groan, reaching for it to switch the alarm off.

\- Damn… - You whisper, falling back into bed and staring at the ceiling. You’ve been single for less than a month, isn’t it too early for wet dreams?

Only… That wasn’t exactly a wet dream. That was something else. Not about sex, but about… Closeness? Affection? Are you really craving for it this much?..

\- Yeah, yeah… - You mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes. - Every strong independent woman secretly wishes to be held sometimes… Whatever.

You spend a few more minutes in bed, thinking about it. The dream was incredibly bright; you still can feel his touch on your skin…

\- Ugh.

You abruptly get in a sitting position and shake your head. Time to get back to reality.

* * *

The bar opens up at noon and closes at 1 a.m. every night, except Fridays and Saturdays. On Fridays and Saturdays it works until 4 a.m., for obvious reasons. You own this place with your best friend, it basically was your dream since high school, and you both are quite proud of what you achieved. Your bar is not very big, but it’s cool and cozy and has this rock’n’roll vibe you love so much. You both are really good bartenders, and you work in shifts. Sometimes people ask you if it’s hard to own the business with your friend and still be friends. Well, maybe you two are just lucky, but so far you didn’t have any serious misunderstandings.

You get to the bar at 11:30 to prepare everything for work in peace. Your chef arrives soon too and goes straight to the kitchen. He’s not very talkative, but a really nice guy, and most importantly - he cooks very well. Another cook usually comes to work a bit later, as well as the waitresses - they are still students, but it’s fine. On weekdays there are not too many people here, but you have your steady customers and regular income. Nothing to complain about.

The first couple hours at work are actually your favorite. You’re alone, carefully wiping up the glasses, listening to the songs murmuring from the radio and humming softly to yourself… What’s better than that?

You startle a bit as the door suddenly opens - you didn’t expect the first customers before at least 1 p.m. And you certainly didn’t expect to see him again, especially that soon.

\- Well hello, sir! - You smile broadly at him. It’s hard to explain why you’re so glad to see him. It’s not this slightly nervous excitement you usually feel when you see someone you like or find attractive; it’s more like meeting an old friend, _a recognition._ \- Did you miss our espresso?

He smiles back at you, taking the same seat at the counter.

\- Yes ma’am, dying to taste it again, - he chuckles.

\- Your wish is my command than.

\- Hey uh… Why don’t you join me? - The man suddenly suggests as you place the cup in front of him. - You don’t seem very busy at the moment, so… Can I buy you a coffee too?

His voice… It seems even more familiar that before. As if you’ve heard it just recently.

\- Sure, why not? - You reply after a moment of hesitation.

A couple of minutes later you sit in front of him with a mug of Americano. Even though the counter separates you from each other, you’re still close enough - your hands almost touch. Surprisingly, you enjoy this closeness, even though normally it takes some time before you let someone intrude your personal space like that. You think that’s because you’re a bit touch starved, that explains your dream as well.

\- You know, I really like it here, - he says. - That’s a nice place.

\- Thanks! - You smile again. - I’m one of the owners, and the design is partly mine, so it’s really nice to hear.

\- I thought so. This place looks like you in a way.

\- This bar is my baby… Well, our baby. I own it together with a friend - she’s also a bartender and makes amazing coffee, by the way.

\- No doubts about that, but _your_ coffee already stole my heart, so…

\- No offence, sir, but you’re clearly flirting with me now, and I don’t even know your name yet.

\- It’s Silas, - he replies. - Silas Groves.

\- Wow. That’s a pretty unusual name. Makes me think about… Westerns or something like that.

\- I know, - he laughs softly. - It’s quite old fashioned. I think I was named after some relative, like a great-grandfather, you know. My grandma gave me this name.

\- I really love it. It’s beautiful. A good name for a cowboy. Can you ride a horse?

\- You won’t believe it, but I can even do a bit of a lasso.

\- No way! - You laugh. - Seriously?

\- Uh-huh. My grandparents used to own a ranch, so… - he pauses and then smirks. - Now, may I have the pleasure to hear _your_ name, ma’am?..

\- Oh! Sure, - you actually completely forgot that you still haven’t introduced yourself to him, - I’m y/n.

Today his eyes are bright green and sparkling as he smiles back.

\- Nice to meet you, y/n.

\- So, Silas Groves, - you decide to keep the conversation going. - What do you do?

\- I… actually spent quite a lot of time in military service.

\- Oh, really?

\- Yeah… I’m actually a colonel. Retired about two years ago.

\- Did… Something happen, or?… Nevermind, sorry… I’m probably too curious, - you add quickly.

\- That’s okay, - he replied reassuringly, - Well uh… There was one operation… And, you know. Mistakes were made, some people died. That wasn’t _entirely_ my fault, I realize it’s just the circumstances… But I was in charge so I bear the responsibility for that… It’s not the main reason, just… Something that pushed me, if you get what I mean. The main reason is that I just felt like I had enough. No one forced me to quit, it was my absolutely conscious decision.

\- Wow… - You don’t know what to say. It’s clear that Silas talks about really important personal things. Things that took toll on him, and maybe are still torturing him in a way.

\- And… How does life feel after the army for you? - You finally ask.

\- Pretty weird, I must say. Army’s an entirely different universe. I was confused at first, actually. Had no idea what to do with myself. But I’m learning, - he shrugs with a quiet smile. - I have my own small business now. Repairing cars.

\- That’s a good kind of business.

\- Yep. I was always good with engines and stuff like that. And I needed to keep my hands busy, that’s how it started. I used to rent a garage for these purposes, but recently I got the place of my own. And your bar is actually right between my home and my new workplace, - he chuckles.

\- Oh, so it’s a destiny that you’re here? - You smirk.

\- Guess so.

For a moment you both drink your coffee in comfortable silence.

\- You know, - Silas goes, after finishing his cup. - A week ago when I just bought that garage, I rode past your place without even noticing it. And yesterday something just clicked, and I felt the urge to drop in. Glad I did.

\- I’m glad you did it too, - you say with all honesty.

\- I gotta go, - he glances at his watch. - The customer is gonna come pick his ride soon. It was just a short coffee break for me.

He puts a few coins on the counter and lifts his eyes at you.

\- Hope I didn’t annoy you much with my life story, - he lets out a small laugh.

\- Not at all, I really enjoyed this conversation, - you assure.

\- Good. Because… I’m usually far from being talkative, but I’m comfortable talking _with you_ for some reason. Is that weird?

\- There are a lot of weird things going on around these days, - you reply and he chuckles again at your words.

\- You’re right. Well, have a nice day, y/n, - he nods and gets on his feet. You watch him heading to the door and a part of you is really sad he’s leaving so soon.

\- Hey, Silas, - you call out, and he freezes at the doorframe, looking back at you.

\- I’ll see you around, right?.. - You don’t even try to hide the notes of hope in your tone.

He smiles again, and it’s probably one of the most sincere smiles you’ve ever seen.

\- Sure you will. I Promise.

You smile back and wave him goodbye as he leaves. And suddenly, the realization hits you: the voice from your dream, whispering on your ear - it was _his_ voice. You didn’t realize it until he said those words - _“I promise”_.

* * *

The next day as you’re having breakfast with your best friend in a cozy coffeeshop, you decide to tell her about Silas. You have to share it with someone and who else except her would understand you and wouldn’t call you a weirdo? Despite she’s mostly pragmatic and you’re mostly a dreamer, and basically you’re very different in many ways, you’ve been friends for almost 20 years. She’s still the one who’s always there for you and the one who gives the best advice. You do the same for her, and frankly speaking, you think maybe your difference is the key for such a long term friendship - you complete each other.

This time she listens to you attentively, as usual.

\- Well, I’m sure there’s a simple explanation to this… Maybe he looks like some actor from a movie you once saw… You watch loads of movies… - She suggests.

\- That might be… But what’s really weird is that he also remembers me from somewhere, or at least has a feeling he does… Plus, I just realized: he told me it’s been a week since he started riding past our bar to his garage, but only the day before yesterday he suddenly thought he had to drop in… The day before yesterday was my first day at work after a week off! Coincidence?

\- You think you have some kind of a bond between the two of you? - She frowns.

\- I don’t know what to _think_ , but yes, I have such a _feeling_ , - you confess.

\- Hey, but that’s great. You like him, and he seems to like back, right? You’re single at the moment, so I’d say you should go for it, girl.

\- True, I definitely like him, but… It’s also an unusual kind of feeling.

\- What do you mean?

\- Well… You know me, right? When I’m _really_ into someone, I’m a mess at first. My hands are shaking, I’m sweating and feel like I’m gonna throw up and so on. But this time it’s completely different. I’m… Not nervous at all.

\- You know… - Your friend says thoughtfully, taking a sip of her tea, - I’ve read somewhere that the Buddhists believe, when you meet your true soulmate, you feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation. Just calm and confidence…

\- Wow, - you blink in surprise. - That’s something I totally didn’t expect to hear from _you_! Since when are you interested in Buddhism?..

\- I don’t, - she shrugs. - Just read it in someone’s Facebook, I think. I don’t even know if they really say so. But what if it’s true? Not that I hundred percent believe in this, but who knows… Anyway, I don’t see any problems here. If you like him, just relax and enjoy it. You deserve it.

\- Yeah, probably you’re right, - you smile. - I just think too much.

\- Typical you, - she winks.

Yes, she definitely knows you better than anyone else.

\- How’s your ex, by the way? - Your friend asks after a pause. - Is he still stalking you?

\- I haven’t seen him yesterday, - you shrug. - Haven’t noticed him at least.

\- That’s a good thing.

You nod in agreement. To be completely honest, you almost forgot about your ex. Silas occupied the most part of your thoughts, and honestly, it was a good distraction.

* * *

##    
**Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

Today’s Colonel Groves’ official day off. Technically. In fact, he still had to solve quite a few questions connected with his duty. So far the Indians weren’t too aggressive and he managed to negotiate with a couple of chiefs successfully. The peace treaty must be signed; it’s the main purpose why he is here. Although recently he has a feeling he’s got one more purpose, much more personal.

He found her in the kitchen doing dishes, and caught himself on a thought she looked beautiful, even while doing such simple everyday chores. Her thoughtful face, casually pinned up hair, dainty hands and delicate fingers… her waist wrapped into the corset of a simple yet pretty dress, the curves of her hips… He’s smitten with the image of her, and he knows it’s wrong. It’s not the raw lust however; she’s so pure to him. The feeling he’s got for her is not driving him mad with need, it’s quiet and warm. It’s not a desire to possess, but a desire to give - maybe that’s what the true love is about?.. Groves is not sure, he never had a chance to experience it before, but at times he thinks that might be it. At times all he wishes is just to be next to her, simple as that.

He clears his throat.

\- How’s the things coming along here, ma’am?

She smiles. He loves the way she looks at him. There’s something in her eyes that lets him know - maybe somewhere in another life he could have a chance with her.

\- It’s fine, Colonel. Nothing to complain about.

\- Haven’t seen your husband in a while… Thought you might need a hand with something… - Groves pauses, realizing how ambiguously it may sound. - I mean, you’re always kind to me, making me feel like home over here, so… If there’s something I can do for you - I’m at your service.

She thinks at his words for a second.

\- Actually, Colonel, you really might be of a use, - she finally says. - I need to get the horses fed, and there’s a huge bag of oats in the basement, which is too heavy for me. If you could help with it, it’d be lovely.

\- Sure, ma’am, - Silas nods with a soft smile.

He follows her down the stairs to the basement and the dim light of the lamp in her hand easily helps them find what they needed. The sack is really huge and heavy, but Groves managed to carry heavier stuff before. He brings it to the barn and decides to help her with feeding the horses too. Of course it’s just another reason to spend some more time with her, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

\- Oof, that’s real heavy, - he comments, putting the sack down on the floor. - Did your husband really think you could do that alone?

\- He probably just forgot about the horses, - she shrugs. - As usual.

\- Where is he anyway? - Silas tries to sound casual, not wanting to pass the limits of curiosity. In fact, he already has a few guesses. Silas Groves was always observant.

\- He’s out on business, - she says. - Got some goods to sell in… Minnesota, I think. Not sure exactly though.

\- Well, if he somehow happens to sell homemade alcohol of any kind, I don’t have to remind you it’s… Not very legal, right?

She narrows her eyes.

\- What exactly do you mean, Colonel Groves?

\- All I mean is that if you wished to get rid of him or punish him for what he did to you, you could just report to the police about his business, - Groves says quietly, cocking his head.

\- Oh yeah? - She scoffs at his words; he’s glad she’s not mad at him though. - But in this case I’d apparently get in jail as well, for hiding such information. Am I not right?

\- You’d say you didn’t know anything about that.

\- And you think they’d believe me that easily?

\- I could say my word. I’d stand bail for you.

She’s silent for a moment, just looking at him with her bright eyes.

\- Silas, I really do appreciate your concern, - she finally says. There’s something truly intimate in the tone of her voice when she calls him by his name, not “sir” or “Colonel”.

\- But… - She continues, - Even though we both know I’m not in love with my husband, I would never do such a thing. Sounds pretty much like betrayal to me.

Groves suddenly feels ashamed for what he said.

\- I’m sorry. I just… It’s not fair. I hate the thought of him treating you like this. If I ever see him raising his hand at you again, I swear to God, the bastard will end up in jail.

She sighs, approaching him, her hand reaching awkwardly to stroke his arm.

\- In a perfect world… Things could be different for me… For us.

\- Why are you with him? - Silas blurts. His voice is nearly a whisper, and the question is not even addressed to her but to the universe which happened to be so unfair.

\- Honestly… I didn’t have much of a choice, - she replies. - My parents died when I was a little girl, I was raised by my aunt and uncle, among their kids… They had hardly enough to keep body and soul together, so marrying this man was the only way for me to have a normal life and not to suffer from poverty. If I had a choice… I don’t even know if I wanted to get married at all. Sounds weird, I know… A woman who doesn’t want to get married…

She chuckles bitterly at her own words.

\- He was actually nice at first. It took a while before I saw his true nature. At first I even thought I might get the hang of it. Find some joy in being a wife. Even thought about having kids… Now I’m glad it didn’t happen. It wouldn’t have changed anything, only would make it more complicated. The thought of him treating the little one the way he treats me is just… - she winces at this, - I even started drinking special herbal tea, you know… To make sure it won’t happen. See, I don’t want my husband’s children, what kind of a woman I am?..

\- Hey.

Silas lets the pads of his fingers softly brush against her cheek as he looks at her. There’s just so much into her eyes he can’t quite figure, but it makes his heart shrink.

\- There’s nothing wrong with you, - he says reassuringly. - Bringing the children into this world is a serious matter.

\- That’s why you don’t have any? - She gives him a crooked smile.

\- Apparently so, - he smiles back.

They stand impossibly close, and he almost shivers as her hand finds his.

\- I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, - she sighs. - It’s just… For the first time in ages I feel like I found someone who’s not indifferent. I feel like I can trust you.

Her skin feels impossibly tender in contrast with his rough, calloused hand. His fingers interlace with hers as he brings her hand to his lips, pressing kisses against her knuckles. She shivers and closes her eyes for a moment.

\- You can trust me. I’m here for you.

Slowly, her free hand slides up his chest to rest on his shoulder. He leans in, almost unconsciously, and she makes a movement towards him as well, to meet his lips with hers. He kisses her slowly, afraid to be too insistent, but she welcomes him, and he deepens the kiss, letting his tongue softly caress hers. She sighs and he hums against her mouth as she tastes like heaven. He can feel her fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp, and he pulls her closer by the waist, wishing to melt into her, to lose himself in the magic of this moment. She’s panting when he lets go of her lips, placing a feathery kiss on the side of her neck before nuzzling into her skin. Her scent is truly divine and he inhales deeply, trying to save it in his memory.

\- Silas, - she whispers shakily, trembling in his arms, - we… we can’t…

He pulls away reluctantly and nods, his eyes still locked with hers. Of course they can’t. He knows damn well. He would never do anything that may get her in trouble. This time though the temptation was too hard to resist, for both of them.

In a perfect world… Things could be different. But this is not a perfect world. Just the world they have to live in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Now, a couple of notes on historic accuracy. Idk if any of you, readers, are seriously interested in American history. From my part I have to confess, I’m not great at it. My university course was mostly concentrated on Russian, European and French history, and school, well… It was a looong time ago :DD BUT! I did some research on prohibition law and yes, I realize 1890 is a bit too early for it, but still there was a second wave of Temperance Movement those days (1872-1893), and I just assumed there might be certain problems with selling alcohol at that time. Anyway, I hope you don’t mind the inaccuracy very much because it’s just a fanfiction after all, right? Thanks again, and I'd like to remind you - feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is quite long (maybe I should have split this chapter in two? oops, too late) and intense. The story gets a bit out of my control as it develops. Hope it’s okay. It was not an easy chapter to write, and I’m excited and a tiny bit scared to post it.

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

Groves wakes up abruptly, heart thumping against his ribcage. The candle on his nightstand is half burnt out; the book he was reading is on his lap.

It’s not a peculiar thing for Silas to wake up from a nightmare, or from a feeling of aching anxiety inside his chest. To be completely honest, he already forgot the last time he had a really good, peaceful night sleep. Silas takes it as a given - nothing comes without a price after all. And after all things he’s done, the price should undoubtedly be high. Bad dreams is something he deserves… However this time the dream was absolutely different from anything he saw before.

He saw a strange dimly lit place, apparently a bar - he could tell as there were glasses and bottles, but everything there looked somehow surreal. There was a girl; she was dressed in weird clothes, so he didn’t recognize her at first, but when he caught her gaze, he immediately _knew_ it was her. And there was fear in her eyes. Because there was someone else in the room. Someone who obviously wanted to hurt her… Silas felt the rage boiling inside of him, threatening to burst, and tried hard to keep his cool, as he always did. Being carried away with anger is something a soldier cannot allow to happen. But he knew one thing - she needed him, and he had to protect her, so he made a decisive move towards an unknown enemy… All of a sudden a sharp pain knocked him off his slumber, and he found himself on the bed in his room, panting feverishly.

Silas takes a deep breath and rubs the bridge of his nose when he hears the noise from the corridor. The door slams. Something falls on the floor. He hears an angry man’s voice but can’t puzzle out the exact words. They actually don’t matter, because another voice - a female one - is unmistakably familiar, and the realization makes him jolt. Gritting his teeth, he starts from the bed and drastically storms out of the room.

* * *

##  **New York, present day**

Silas visited your bar twice more last week for the usual coffee and conversation. You talked about your favorite books and music, about those awkward years of high school youth and about the movies you recently saw. It was nice. You loved how comfortable yet pleasantly excited you felt around him. You liked his smile, his beautiful green eyes and the sound of his voice more and more. You thought you were falling for him, or maybe you already fell for him _before_ , somewhere in previous life. Only a couple weeks back you’d say you don’t believe in such bullshit like reincarnation, but now you’re already not so sure. Sometimes you feel like you’re losing your mind, but the same time you’re happier than ever when you just see him.

It’s Monday today, so you’re closing the bar at 1 a.m. as usual, when you hear the engine noise from the road and see a familiar bike approaching.

\- Um… You’re a tiny bit late, do you know that? - You ask, smiling at Silas broadly as he gets off the bike and takes off his helmet.

\- Yeah, I know, - he shrugs. - Working late today, kinda lost a sense of place and time a little… But it’s too late for coffee anyways. You’re going home?

\- Uh-huh, - you nod. - I live not far from here. Twenty minutes on foot, even faster by bicycle, but the weather is lovely, so I mostly walk these days.

\- Isn’t it quite late for walking alone? - Silas frowns.

\- Are you trying to control me, mister? - You ask jokingly.

\- Not at all. I’m just concerned, - he smiles, but his eyes glance at you seriously. - Probably sounds weird from someone you barely know?..

\- No… I mean yes, from anyone else… But not from _you_ , - you pause, making sure he gets what you mean. He just nods. - To be honest, normally I’d never tell a man I know for less than two weeks that I walk alone at night, you know.

\- What’s that so special about me? - He cocks his head curiously.

\- I trust you, - you say simply.

\- Good. In this case you’ll probably accept my offer. Need a ride? - Silas nods at his bike and then looks at you expectantly. Suddenly the thought of being so close to him, holding onto him, almost makes you shiver. For some reason, the idea of riding a motorcycle with a man always seemed somehow intimate for you. You probably blushed, thinking about it, because he frowns again.

\- What’s the matter? Are you afraid?.. - He asks softly.

\- Uh… Not really… But I’ve just never ridden a motorcycle before, - you confess.

\- Really? Well, did you ever want to try? - His smirk is almost boyishly mischievous. - Come on. You’ll love it, I promise.

\- You won’t let me walk home anyway, right?

\- Absolutely.

\- I have no choice than.

* * *

The whole ride home took only about five minutes or so, but it still was pretty exciting for you. You liked the roar of the engine and the wind; you liked clinging close to Silas’ firm back and the adrenaline rush of it all. When you took off the helmet Silas gave you, you probably looked happy as a child - flushed cheeks, messy hair, and big grin on your face.

\- Wow, you were right, that was great! - You exclaim. - Thank you so much for this!

\- Always welcome, - he says, looking at you with a gentle smile.

\- What, is anything wrong? - You ask, because he keeps staring, and you instinctively run your fingers through your hair trying to fix the mess.

\- Nothing’s wrong. You’re just beautiful when you smile like this, - he replies very simply. There’s something in his tone that makes sure he really means it, not trying to impress or seduce you right now, just expressing what’s on his mind.

\- Well, thanks… Silas, can I ask you one thing?

\- Okay, shoot.

\- Were you really _that_ busy at work, or you just wanted to come pick me up? Be honest! - You narrow your eyes.

\- Damn, you got me, - he laughs, palming his face jokingly. - Guilty, ma’am.

\- I knew that, - you chuckle.

You stand at his motorcycle in front of your porch, looking at each other, none of you ready to say good night just yet.

\- Hey, not to be cheesy once again, but I… Saw you in my dream last night, - Silas suddenly says.

\- Oh, really?

\- Yeah. Pretty weird dream, I’d say. It was you, I knew that, but you were somehow different… And it was like… as if we’re in an old movie, a western or something… Probably because you told me once my name makes you think of westerns, - he shrugs, letting out a small laugh.

\- That sounds cool actually. And… You know what? I had a dream about you too.

\- You did? - Silas raises his eyebrows in surprise.

\- After our very first meeting, - you nod.

\- Oh yeah? Wow. What was it about?

\- It was… Um… - you hesitate for a moment, unable to figure how to put it. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell it to him, but now it’s too late, and he’s waiting for an answer.

\- In my dream… We were in love, - you finally blurt, and this sudden confession definitely catches him off guard. You both freeze for a second, but you don’t shift your glance, and neither does he.

\- Oh… Well… It’s not that far from reality, is it?..

His voice is quiet and somehow deep and warm, and you just can’t take your eyes of his when his hand moves to brush a loose strand of hair from your face - such a casual gesture, as if he used to do it for ages; again this sense of recognition and unbidden intimacy between the two of you. Shivers are creeping down your spine, and his gaze is hypnotizing. You want to say something, but your throat suddenly goes dry, and then you realize very clearly that you don’t need to say anything right now. At all. He looks at you as if he already knows, as if he sees through you.

Carefully, Silas leans in, and this moment is painfully slow, time seems to stand still, but at the same time you sense the inevitability of it. No way back. His lips are soft and suddenly tender, in contrast with his tough look, his beard feels good against your skin. His pecs tense slightly under your palms as you slide your hands up his chest, fingers tangling in your hair, pulling you even closer in his embrace and you let him kiss you deeper, relishing in the sensation of his warm tongue gently exploring your mouth. As you cling to him, Silas makes a soft humming noise against your lips; you know this sound and your knees go weak. 

He pulls back after what felt like ages and still ended too soon. You’re a bit breathless, face burning even more than after the ride. Silas’ smile is incredibly soft as he’s tracing your cheekbone with the pads of his fingers.

\- I uh… - he clears his throat, - didn’t really expect this to happen _tonight_ … But I’d lie if I say I didn’t think about it.

\- I did too, - you reply and smile, reaching your hand to stroke his bearded chin. - You know what’s the best thing about first kisses?

\- What’s that?

\- Anticipation. You know, when you’re into someone, of course you just can’t help it… You’re wondering what your first kiss would be like. You imagine it. And when you’re finally facing each other and it’s about to happen, you’re just… Really curious to know if it’ll be just like you imagined, or different… You know what I mean?

\- Sure. But… It didn’t happen very often _to me_ , actually. I’m not really… fickle when it comes to love. Guess I kinda restrained myself. Duty always came first… I did imagine kissing _you_ though, - he chuckles.

\- So… How do you feel about that? Was it like you imagined, or?..

\- Almost. Just… A tiny bit better.

His eyes are smiling and you find this cheeky look of his ridiculously attractive.

\- And you? How do you feel about kissing me, huh? - He raises his eyebrows.

\- It feels… Right, - you say with a sudden confidence in your voice, - Just the way it should be.

\- I like this answer.

You’re both silent for a moment, and you enjoy the sense of simple, casual intimacy. You know it’s your person when the silence doesn’t feel awkward, when you’re comfortable enough without saying a word, when you don’t need to talk to hide your anxiety… But still, you feel the urge to ask him. Just to make sure.

\- Silas?..

\- Mm?

\- Please tell me you have this feeling too. Like… We’ve already been together, a long time ago. Please tell me I’m not crazy.

\- Well, if you’re crazy, than I must be crazy too, - he replies, and his smirk grows wider as he wraps his arms around you tightly, slowly pulling you into another kiss. A kiss that feels like home.

* * *

You think you won’t be able to sleep tonight, but you doze off surprisingly fast, almost as soon as your head touches the pillow.

You dream about him again, but the dream is suddenly anxious. As if he is hurt and you’re trying your best to help, to save him. There’s blood on your hands, and you wake up with a sickening feeling you can’t quite explain.

In the darkness, you reach for your phone to check the time and see a missed call from your ex.

_“Well, y/n… things just can’t be that perfect, right? There’s always a fly in the ointment.”_

You blacklist the number and fall back on the pillow with a deep sigh. Whatever. For the first time in a long while you finally felt something very close to happiness, and now you’re determined not to let anything or anyone ruin it. Not even your past.

* * *

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

Sound of breaking glass.

\- Get off me, Jim!

\- Not until I teach you how to behave like a good wife, not a goddamn slut, you hear me?!

Sound of slapping.

Gasp.

\- The hell is going on around here? - Silas growls, stepping outside the room. Shards of glass crunch under his foot - a half-empty bottle of whiskey is broken and the liquid stained the rug at his door. He doesn’t care. All he can see right now is a silhouette of a man grabbing a young woman roughly on the shoulders, shaking violently.

\- You get off her. Now.

Silas’ voice is calm yet sharp and cold as steel. Any adequate person would understand - it’s better not to argue with him at the moment. But Jim is almost blind drunk and furious.

\- T’s none of your business how I treat _my_ wife, Colonel, - he snarls.

\- You heard me. Don’t make me say it twice, - Silas makes another decisive step towards them, clenching his fists.

\- Silas, don’t… - she mumbles.

\- Oh, what did you just call him? Silas, huh? - Jim’s face is drawn with anger. - I knew that! I’ll be damned! The way you always look at him and shit… You two are fuckin’? Ain’t that right? You’re messing with him behind my back, you whore!

He harshly pushes her off, and her foot slips so she lands on the floor, hissing in pain as she reaches to get a small piece of broken glass out of her palm. The rug is stained with blood and alcohol now.

\- Hey, what the hell?! - Another guest’s sleep is disturbed by the noise and he’s peering out of the room with widened eyes. - Jesus Christ… What’s going on?..

\- The son of a bitch is shagging my wife, that’s what! - Jim barks and pounces at Groves with a suddenly swift motion. Silas manages to block his attack, but the man twists out of his grip somehow, and his fist slams against Silas’ jaw. He lets out a grunt, sensing the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

Jim bends down, grabs a sharp piece of a broken bottle from the floor and attacks again, but this time his condition betrays him, and Groves is prepared and fast enough to catch his arm halfway and twist it behind the man’s back. Jim bellows in pain, trying to escape with no success.

\- Hey, pal, - Silas pants as he glances at the guest who’s still observing the scene with a terrified look on his face. - This man’s just purposely assaulted his wife and me, am I right?

\- Y-yes… - the man murmurs.

\- I’m now taking the bastard to Sherriff’s office, and you’re going with me and confirm my words as a witness. That clear?

\- Yes sir, - he nods quickly. - I saw it and I can confirm.

\- Thanks, pal, - Silas’ voice softens a tiny bit, - I appreciate your help. We both are.

\- I’ll make you pay for that, you piece of shit, - Jim groans under his breath.

\- Wrong. I’ll make _you_ pay for that. The law is on my side. And for the record - your wife didn’t mess with me, you fuckin’ prick, - Groves replies through clenched teeth. - Your place is in jail, and I’ll personally make sure of that. Move!

As they walk to the stairs, Silas catches her glance. It’s anxious, but also grateful.

* * *

##  **New York, present day**

The bar is surprisingly crowded despite it’s a weekday. There’s an important baseball game tonight, and even though you’re not a sport bar, the TV is on and a bunch of steady customers and their friends are here watching. The atmosphere is quite cheerful and you enjoy working tonight.

Silas appears later in the evening.

\- Wow… Quite a lot of people tonight, huh?..

\- Yeah, well… The baseball’s on, - you point at the TV-set.

\- I see. Never really understood this game, to be honest, - he chuckles.

\- Me neither.

\- Listen, I’ve been thinking… - Silas starts, but you don’t hear what he’s saying. You suddenly notice your ex. He glances at you, and you immediately tense, but nothing happens - he just heads to the restroom. The hell is he doing here though?.. Stalking again?

\- Hey, is anything wrong? Seemed like you weren’t here for a second… - Silas’ hand covers yours and it brings you back to senses.

\- Yeah, I’m fine, sorry, - you shake your head with a nervous giggle. - What were you saying?..

\- I actually was trying to ask you out, - he chuckles again.

\- Oh… Well I’m absolutely in.

\- Really?

\- Yep. Hundred percent, - you beam at him.

\- That’s awesome. I don’t know what day’s better for you… How about Friday night?..

\- It’s my day off so it’s perfect! Hate working Fridays.

\- Great. So um… I’ll come pick you up then? Not really sure where to go, I’m not a very… Romantic guy, you know… Should we stick to classic maybe? A dinner and a movie?

\- Sounds great. I love classic.

At this moment you see your ex again, but he quickly disappears behind the backs of baseball fans on his way to the door. He’s leaving. Thank God.

\- You sure you’re okay? - Silas frowns.

\- Yeah, just… A little tired, it’s all. Don’t worry, - you assure him.

You’re not afraid to tell Silas about your ex-boyfriend and the complicated relationship you’ve been through. Just… Not right now.

\- Alright. I gotta go than, - he smirks and suddenly brings your hand to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

\- Didn’t you just say you’re not romantic?.. - You cock an eyebrow.

\- I’m definitely breaking new ground with you, y/n.

* * *

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

Silas is finally back in his room after his visit to the Sheriff’s office. He feels exhausted, mentally more than physically, but he knows he did the right thing.

Someone’s knocking on the door and he already knows who it is.

\- I couldn’t sleep, - she says simply, - can I stay?

\- Sure, - Groves nods, letting her in.

\- I uh… Can sleep on the floor, and you take the bed, okay?.. - he says, ruffling his hair. He can’t even explain what makes him such a gentleman all of a sudden. He wants to be better than he is around her.

\- There’s no need for that, - she replies, cheeks slightly blushing in the dim light of an oil lamp. - Please, I just… need someone next to me… No, not someone. I need you.

\- Okay, - he says quietly after a brief moment of hesitation.

They’re lying in silence for a while, facing each other. It’s starting to rain outside, and they listen to the sound of raindrops against the rooftop and a distant rolling thunder. Her fingers gently trace the curve of his face, touch his swollen lip.

\- Does it hurt?

\- Don’t worry ‘bout that. I had worse injuries.

He takes her hand and presses his lips against her palm, where the glass shard left its scrape.

\- He won’t hurt you anymore, - he whispers softly. - but, y/n… There will be the court hearing, and I want you to tell them everything. About the bootlegging too. Don’t be scared. I will support you. The guests will support you too. They’ve got their eyes and ears… if we do everything right, he’ll stay in jail for a long time…

\- But he won’t stay there forever. He’ll seek revenge when he’s back. And you… you’ll have to return to New York after your job here is done…

His heart sinks at her words. Can he possibly leave her like that knowing that her tormentor is somewhere around?..

\- Do you wanna go with me?

She stares at him for a second, eyes wide open.

\- To New York? Are you… Are you being serious?.. - He can hear a slight tremble in her voice.

\- Yeah, - he nods, - I’m dead serious. You see, I ain’t perfect, and I did horrible things back in the days, things I’m not quite proud of. So… It might be way too bold to assume a woman like you would have enough sympathy for me to just… Run away with. But I _do_ want to make sure you’re safe, and that’s the only way. If you want that, of course. I’m not gonna kidnap you against your will…

\- You don’t have to, - she laughs through sudden tears, - Of course I want to go with you… Wherever you say.

She’s so beautiful right now, beautiful and fragile, and he smiles, reaching to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

\- Come here.

He encloses her in his arms, and she snuggles against his chest, burying her face somewhere into the crook of his neck. He kisses the top of her head and lets his fingers run through her hair. She’s warm and soft against him, and all he wishes for is holding her like this forever.

She falls asleep in his arms, as he keeps stroking her hair absentmindedly until he finally drifts off as well. His sleep is unusually calm and peaceful this night.

* * *

He wakes up and she’s the first thing he sees. For a while he stays motionless, watching her as she sleeps, taking in the view of her peaceful innocent beauty. He reaches out to brush the hair from her face as carefully as possible to not disturb her, but fails. She smiles through her slumber before opening her bright eyes to look at him.

\- Hey.

\- Hey, - he echoes back, stroking her cheek.

\- What time is it? Do you have to go?..

Silas grunts, turning to get his pocket watch from the bedside table.

\- No, it’s too early. I can stay for a while.

\- Good, - she smirks, moving closer and clinging to him. Her lips find his, and they’re kissing slowly, savoring the moment. Groves is a bit overwhelmed with the taste and scent of her, with her closeness. He didn’t know it’s possible at his age, he’s not a young and silly boy, but he feels exactly like that - young, silly, completely love struck.

\- Silas, - she murmurs, pulling away a little bit and shifting to look down at him. - Your uh…

He follows her gaze and realizes his morning bulge is embarrassingly hard, pressing against her thigh.

\- Forgive me, - he mumbles, drawing back from her, - I just…

\- Don’t, - she whispers, kissing him again, and he shivers as her hand skims down his belly to touch him.

\- Y/n, - he breathes out, - what are you…

\- I want to know how it feels like to _really_ make love. To a special person. Will you show me?

Her voice is quiet yet determined. Silas swallows hard when her fingers start to undo the buttons on her nightgown. It’s been a while since he was with a woman last time, and frankly speaking, it wasn’t much about feelings. What’s happening now is completely different from anything he felt before, and he’s suddenly hesitant.

\- Are you sure? - He asks in a hoarse whisper.

Instead of answering, she takes his hand and guides it to her breast. Her bare flesh is incredibly soft and tender beneath his rough palm as he gives it a gentle squeeze, earning a soft, barely heard moan in return.

He kisses her again, deeply, dragging his tongue against hers unhurriedly, feeling her melting into him, humming with delight. He kisses along her jaw, down the curve of her neck, her throat and collarbones, and her skin feels so nice and smooth that he can’t get enough of it.

Eventually, she straddles him and he pushes her nightdress up, stroking her thighs and hips, before helping her remove the useless garment. Her cheeks are flushed as he cups her breasts again, running his thumbs over the hardened picks of her nipples.

Gently urging her to lay on the back, Silas hovers over her, pulls his nightshirt off, tossing it aside, and leans in for a sloppy and heated kiss. His chest presses against her, and the skin to skin contact almost makes the both of them shudder. He wants to make her feel good, wants to make her writhe and pant beneath him, so he starts kissing his way down her body. She trembles as his beard tickles her skin and his fingers hook under the hem of her underwear, tugging it down.

He kisses and nips on her inner thighs, relishing in her warmth and softness as he gets closer and closer to her aching heat.

\- S-Silas, what are you… Oh, - she gasps and her back arches from the bed as his tongue carefully slips past her folds.

\- Oh God, - she breathes out as her fingers instinctively tangle into his hair.

From the way she acts, Silas can tell for sure - her husband never paid much attention to her pleasure. He’s determined to give her what she needs. His tongue moves gently, yet steadily, rolling over the little throbbing bud. Her taste is intoxicating and he lets out a low groan, vibration causing her bite back a moan. Slowly, he pushes two fingers inside her, bending them to press against that hidden spot that he knows would make her toes curl.

\- Please… don’t stop, - she pants, and he feels her walls fluttering before clenching hard around his fingers. She presses her palm against her mouth to muffle a cry of pleasure.

He lets her ride out the climax, before kissing his way back to her lips. Then he finally gets rid of his underpants and settles between her legs. His eyes are shut tight and his forehead is pressed against hers as he slowly pushes inside her. She feels like heaven and he forgets how to breathe for a moment. He stays still to let her adjust, before she bucks her hips, urging him to move.

Silas didn’t know it can feel _that_ good. They’re one at the moment, a beautiful, hot mess of tangled limbs, their hearts are beating together, fingers entwining, lips searching for one another, whispering each other’s names between the kisses. And when she finally clenches around him again and he feels her pulsing and throbbing, he empties himself inside of her, grunting through clenched teeth. The pleasure is so overwhelming that he’s unable to move, just lying there breathless, nuzzling into the crook of her neck while her fingers lazily run up and down his spine.

Later, they snuggle against each other; he hugs her from behind, peppering her shoulder and the side of her neck with feathery kisses.

\- Wish I could spend the lifetime in your arms like this, - she whispers, and he tightens his grip around her, pulling her closer to his chest.

\- I’ll never leave you. _I Promise._

* * *

##  **New York, present day**

You said goodbye to your chef and started cleaning up your workplace before closing the bar for the night. You’re almost done when you hear the door opening.

\- We’re closed, - you say without looking, while you’re searching for your mobile phone.

\- Hey, y/n.

You freeze in place and slowly turn to see your ex-boyfriend in the doorway.

\- Jim. What do you need?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it was an attempt to end the chapter with a sort of cliffhanger :D  
> Thank you so much for reading, your support is very much appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite intense... Sex, blood and violence - I warned you :D  
> It took me way longer than the other ones, because the quarantine is over and work took all my energy. But it’s finally here, yay!

##  **New York, present day**

\- We need to talk, - Jim says.

You can see him visibly trying to stay calm, but you know him well enough to notice he’s holding back the anger which is burning him from inside. That’s the way he is, like a pot that’s about boil. You’re not afraid of him however. Facing him feels way better than seeing him just hanging around watching you, haunting you like a ghost.

\- I think everything was said and done already, - you shrug, - But I’m glad you decided to say something instead of just stalking me like some kind of a creep.

\- I didn’t want to approach you because I was giving you time, y/n.

\- Time? What do you mean, Jim? What happened between us is not just an argument. We’re not just taking a break - it’s _over_. I thought I made it clear enough, but apparently I was wrong.

\- It’s because of that man, right? The biker? Don’t fucking pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! I saw you two snogging! You’re ready to give up years of our relationship that easily? Just for some random man you hardly know?

\- Jesus… - you let out a deep sigh. - This man has _absolutely_ nothing to do with all this. We broke up, because this relationship just wasn’t healthy, can’t you see it yourself? And you’re wrong when you say “easily”. It’s not easy at all, trust me. But it just doesn’t work anymore, you and me. We can’t fix it, don’t you understand?

\- You didn’t even give me a chance to try!

\- What? I gave you millions of chances. Can you even hear yourself? Jim, please. You have to get over this. Accept the fact I’m not yours and live your life. Please. I really don’t wanna fight. Now excuse me, it’s late, I’m tired and really have to go home.

With this, you get out of the counter, take your bag and the keys and make a decisive step towards him and the door. There’s obviously no point in keeping this conversation going. Jim sees only what he wants to see, again. Apparently all this time he’s been pretty sure it’s just a temporary rift in your relationship, and when Silas appeared in your life, it just drove him mad. 

\- Hey, you’re not listening to me, why the fuck are you running away? - He roughly grabs your forearm and the keys fall on the floor. The pot is already boiling; you can feel it without any doubts.

\- Jim, let go, - you hiss, - you’re hurting me!

But his grip only tightens.

\- Hey. The hell is going on around here?

The sudden sound of Silas’ voice, calm yet stern, makes the both of you flinch. You see him standing in the doorframe, furrowing his brows at the sight.

\- Mind your own fucking business, cowboy, - Jim snarls at him, but Groves doesn’t move. - Got trouble hearing?

\- Guess that’s you who’s got trouble hearing, - Silas shrugs, - I heard her telling you to let her go.

\- Oh yeah? - Jim pushes you away so harshly you almost trip, but manage to grip onto the counter and stay on your feet. - Wanna play a tough guy, huh?

He’s fierce now as he steps towards Silas with clenched fists.

\- I’d not advise you to get into fight with me, - he says simply, his voice still harsh, making it absolutely clear he means it. Only Jim doesn’t listen, anger consuming him.

\- Not taking advice from strangers.

The next moment he strikes at Silas with a swift motion, but Silas reacts immediately, catching Jim’s arm in a firm grip before his fist reached its aim. Jim groans, more from disappointment rather than from pain right now, jerking, yet Silas’s grip is tight and he doesn’t let go.

\- Listen to me carefully, - he says in a low voice, looking Jim right in the eyes. - I’m not here to fight, but you’re clearly unwelcome. If this girl right here tells you to fuck off, I’ll make you fuck off right now. It’s your choice easy way or hard. You understand?

\- Easy way or hard, you say? - Jim grins spitefully. - I’ll choose… Hard!

And all of a sudden, in one jerking motion, Jim’s forehead slams against Silas’, hitting the bridge of his nose. Both men growl in pain, but Jim clearly underestimated Groves. Despite the pain, he didn’t let go of his arm.

\- You had this coming, fucker, - he hisses, as he swiftly twists it behind his back, and presses Jim against the counter.

\- Silas, stop! - You finally manage to speak. You’ve been watching the entire scene as if in a daze, unable to believe it’s really happening, but Jim’s strangled wail brought you to senses.

\- Let go of him, - you tell Silas. - And you, Jim - get out of here now, or I’m calling the police. I’m not kidding, - you add holding your phone before the two men’s eyes.

Carefully, Silas loosens his grip on Jim, stepping back as the man jerks out of his hands, still hissing in pain. He flashes an angry glance at the two of you, and for a second you’re worried he’s going to attack again, but he just storms out of the bar. You can see through the windows as he stumbles to his car, gets in and starts the engine. You feel relieved only when the car is out of sight.

\- Hey… You okay?.. - Silas’ voice breaks the silence and makes you look at him closer.

\- Yeah, I am. But, I don’t think _you_ are. Look at yourself… Jesus, you’re bleeding.

He sniffs as he brings his fingers to his nose. There’s a trickle of blood running from his nostril, staining his beard.

\- I’ll be fine…

\- You will, after I use our first aid kit. Come on.

You take his hand as you lead him behind the counter. Silas doesn’t protest, and despite everything, his hand in yours feels suddenly comforting for the both of you.

* * *

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

She feels happy. Unbelievably, shamelessly happy. She even smiles to herself while doing the usual chores. She’s happy, but at the same time she’s scared of this feeling. It’s so unusual it feels wrong. It’s too good to be true, and she has this bad anxious feeling somewhere on the back of her mind, that something might happen. Something that will bring her back down to earth. She chases this feeling away, and tells herself she deserved it.

For the first time in what seems like forever she’s looking forward to the future. Ages ago she accepted the fact that nothing ever changes and she’s bound to live in this casual routine, when every day looks the same; share a bed with a man she never loved, smile at people as if everything’s alright, while deep inside she wants to scream and bang her head against the walls of the cage she lives in…

For the first time in ages she doesn’t feel trapped.

She knows some people would say it’s stupid to trust a man she hardly knows so recklessly. But she feels like her heart knows him better than anyone else.

She can be happy. _They_ can be happy together. They can, and _they will_.

When it gets dark and the guests went to their rooms for the night, the dishes are washed and the kitchen is cleaned, she lights up an oil lamp and sits at the table waiting for him. The book in front of her is open, but she can hardly understand a word. Her mind is far from here. She thinks of his hazel eyes, the sound of his voice and the comfort of his arms.

* * *

##  **New York, present day**

Silas is sitting on a bar stool in front of you with his head tilted back, holding an improvised cold pack - a couple of ice cubes wrapped in a napkin - against his nose as you’re carefully wiping his face with a damp towel.

\- Are you okay? - You ask as he catches your concerned glance.

Groves removes the napkin from his nose, sniffs again carefully.

\- Bleeding seems to stop, - he replies, - so yeah… told you I’ll be fine.

Your fingers gently caress his hair - this casually intimate gesture feels so natural and you do it without even thinking.

\- Damn, Silas… - You sigh. - What are you even doing here?

\- Decided to check on you, - he shrugs. - Don’t get me wrong, but you were a bit weird tonight… So I had a bad feeling...

\- Right… I was a bit weird because I saw _him_ around… He’s my ex-boyfriend…

\- I thought so.

\- Look, I’m really sorry about what happened… Kinda feel ashamed in a way…

\- What are you talking about? - Silas frowns, yet his voice is soft. He takes your hand in his, squeezing gently as the pads of his fingers brush against your knuckles. Holding your hand like this is his way of showing support - another piece of knowledge that you got out of nowhere, but have no doubt it’s true.

\- It’s not your fault he’s uh… Like that. I mean, you’re not responsible for his behavior. Why would you be ashamed?

\- I don’t know, really. Hard to tell… Maybe I’m just ashamed of my taste in men? - You chuckle bitterly at your own pathetic attempt to joke. - Anyway, I feel guilty somehow.

\- Well, you shouldn’t. I bet he wasn’t like that since the very start.

\- You’re right, he wasn’t. But maybe it’s partly my fault too… I was so much into him when we started dating… Was ready to rush to him at his first whistle… Ugh. He got too used to it, I guess. Because all the problems started from when we opened the bar. You see, this bar is very important to me, and to my friend too… It was our dream. I think in a way he was offended that I’m so passionate about something which is not him. He became more and more jealous, possessive even. He was often jealous of the customers, it always seemed to him that I’m flirting with everyone. It started to get on my nerves… I felt trapped, you know what I mean? 

Silas nodded, still holding your hand, his green eyes looking at you attentively.

\- I tried talking to him, he apologized, I forgave, then he acted like an asshole again… You know how it always happens. But one night we had a really serious fight, and…

\- Did he hit you?

\- No, not really… But he _almost_ did. Probably the look on my face stopped him. But I thought to myself what if next time he won’t stop? That’s when I realized it’s over. And I thought he understood… But apparently he still can’t put up with it. I already thought he stopped stalking me, but nope. So… Yeah, sorry for that once again. Probably I should have warned you or something.

\- Hey, I already told you, you don’t have to apologize for some prick who thinks he can control you. What he’s doing is clearly not okay. You’re like… A trophy for him. I might not know that much about love and relationships, but I guess if you really meant something to him, he’d be happy for you. This bar is a great achievement after all… You should be proud. Yeah?

You nod, your eyes locked with his as he reaches out to tuck your hair behind the ear.

\- And actually, - your hand is still in his, and he pauses for a moment to press his lips against your knuckles, - I don’t regret coming here.

\- Thank you, - you reply quietly, stepping closer. - I’m glad you’re here. Really.

Your lips find his, and the kiss is full of tenderness and affection. Somehow, it makes you feel both comfort and a spark of arousal. You don’t even mind a slight metallic taste of blood still left on his upper lip.

\- It’s late, - Silas murmurs as your lips part. - I shall give you a ride home, okay?

* * *

\- Can I ask you something?

You and Silas are sitting on your couch; two mugs of tea are cooling down on the coffee table in front of you. After what happened in the bar you somehow didn’t feel like being alone. Even though rational thinking told you that Jim is very unlikely to bother you again tonight, you still were slightly anxious and knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep. Silas’ presence made you feel better though. Safe. So you invited him in. He agreed without hesitation, probably sensing your mood. These things between the two of you didn’t even need explanation.

\- Shoot.

\- Why did you decide to go to the army?

\- Oh it's uh... Very classic reason, I'd say. My father served. I wanted him to be proud of me. He fully supported that.

\- What about your mom?

\- She thought I'm old enough to decide what to do with my life. I had a girlfriend though, and she was strictly against. There was a huge fight between us. We broke up, and I'm not proud of how I acted... You know, I was young, impulsive... Maybe a bit stupid, too.

\- Do you regret?

\- Regret? No. Military service has its issues, as well as any other job. But in the end it made me who I am today. Yes, there are things I wish I haven't done or said, but what's done is done. You can’t learn anything without making mistakes, right?

\- Words of wisdom.

\- Don’t think I’m _wise_ … But I definitely got smarter with age, - he gives you a soft chuckle.

For a few moments you both remain in comfortable silence. Silas’ arm is on the headrest behind your back, and you can feel him shifting a little to stroke your shoulder.

\- Hey, how’re you feeling? - He asks with concern. - Better?

\- Yeah, - you sigh and lean against him, letting your head rest on his shoulder. - Thanks for… Keeping me company.

\- I’m here for you, - he says in a quiet yet firm tone, and his fingers trail along your cheekbone to your chin, gently tilting your head up to face him. - You know you can count on that, do you?..

You have a slight déjà vu sensation when he says these words - “I’m here for you”. This feeling doesn’t surprise you anymore though, only gives you warmth. Suddenly all you can think of are his lips that, so achingly close, and instead of answering you just make a small movement, closing the gap between the two of you.

Silas’ kisses are soft and unhurried at first. His lips just brush tenderly against yours for a second before he deepens the kiss. His tongue is warm and his beard is tickling you as he keeps going. Quiet, barely heard humming noises escaping him make your head go light. You want to get lost in him; you can’t get enough of him. You can feel your arousal rising with each movement of his lips, and his body tenses as you snuggle even closer. In his arms, you’re losing the sense of place and time. All you know is you don’t want him to leave.

\- Want me to stay? - Silas murmurs against your lips, and you laugh breathlessly.

\- Please stop reading my mind. That’s unfair. We haven’t even been on a date… Technically.

He chuckles and kisses you again, gently biting on your lower lip and causing you shiver.

\- If you wanna slow down that’s okay, - he whispers, cupping your cheek.

\- Maybe we could just get a bit more comfortable…

* * *

In the bedroom you take your time undressing each other, exploring every inch of exposed skin with your lips and fingertips. He presses hot open-mouthed kisses on your neck and chest while his hands are fumbling with your bra. When he carefully pushes you on the bed, hovering over you, the skin-to-skin contact feels so incredibly enjoyable it almost makes you scream. Your fingers run along his spine and feel the muscles tensing. The tip of his tongue grazes against your hardened nipple and you arch your back, biting back a desperate whimper.

You writhe beneath him, moaning quietly, as he continues his ministrations, and by the time he starts tugging down your jeans and underwear, you feel like you’re about to burst. You already know you’re not going to last long when he settles between your legs, peppering your inner thighs with soft kisses on his way to where you need him the most right now.

It seems like he already knows your body. He knows exactly what to do, how to touch, stroke, flick his tongue; what pace and pressure would make your toes curl. Tugging on his messy hair, you gasp and mumble breathless praises, shivering in pure bliss when he brings you over the edge.

He strokes your hair as he watches you coming down from your high, the look in his eyes is soft and endearing. You smile, pulling him closer to kiss his bearded cheeks, and he sighs against your parted lips when your hand sneaks down between your bodies to touch him.

Your foreheads press together when he enters you slowly. Holding onto his shoulders you moan at the delicious stretch.

\- Damn, it's been a while... - Silas laughs quietly into the crook of your neck. He still doesn't move, buried inside you to the hilt, while his lips trail along your jaw. The kisses are tender, intimate, not just in terms of physical intimacy, but something else, practically on a spiritual level. You love just simply being that close to him, you could stay like this forever, and at the same time you desperately want him to move.

\- Silas, - your whisper is barely audible, but he already knows what you need. The first couple of moderate thrusts have you tremble.

His arm hooks under the bend of your knee as he lifts your leg and the angle lets him slip even deeper, earning a ragged gasp from you.

\- That okay? - He murmurs, trusting a bit harder.

\- Yeah, - you breathe out. - Do that again.

He obeys, picking up his pace, sparks of pleasure spiking through you each time he hits that spot inside. Your nails dig into his flesh as you buck your hips to meet his thrusts, chasing your release. Your insides are pulsing and fluttering until the sensation reaches its peak and it’s crushing over you. You didn’t know it can even be that good. Silas grunts against your ear, his firm body stiffening.

\- Is that safe to…

\- Yes. Please… - you urge, and after a couple more thrusts he finally comes undone. You hold him tightly as he shudders against you, both of you are a panting mess in each other’s arms.

You end up falling asleep, face buried into his chest. He whispers something as he cradles you, but your mind is too hazy to discern the words as you drift off.

* * *

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1890**

She takes his hand, and he follows her to the kitchen. In the light of an oil lamp, they cast blurred shadows on the walls. He had a hard day, but nothing else matters right now as she’s here, so close, and her lips are so inviting. He can hardly contain himself as she wraps her arms around his neck and whispers quietly _“I missed you”_.

Capturing her lips with his, he tightens the grip around her frame, and lifts her up just a little, to let her sit on the counter in front of him. His hands slowly wander down her body. She’s sighing against his mouth and he kisses her deeper, letting his tongue gently brush against hers.

His palms rest on her thighs, and the kisses are greedy as if they haven’t seen each other for days, as if they didn’t wake up together this morning. Years of restrained passion, unresolved desire to love and be loved are in these desperate kisses. They both know they need to stop; they can’t be caught, not now. They need to go upstairs where they can get lost in each other in the privacy of his or her room, behind the closed doors. Just not in the kitchen. Some of the guests may just go downstairs for a glass of water or something else… They both know damn well, and yet, they just can’t get enough of each other. There are only the two of them, ragged breaths and muffled barely heard gasps, and the skin of her neck is so incredibly tender underneath his lips…

And then they both freeze at the creaky sound from the hallway. They are not sure at first, but the sound repeats and they know there’s someone there. Someone who came from the outside. Maybe they just forgot to lock the door behind them? And some traveler is just seeking for a place to stay? But the familiar bad feeling is already creeping up her chest. Groves can feel it too. His body tenses up, his palm slides to his hip and lies on the barrel of a gun.

\- Go upstairs, - he tells her quietly, yet sternly enough, so she doesn’t dare to disobey.

The hallway is dark; the only source of light is the dim oil lamp in the kitchen. Still, Groves recognizes the silhouette immediately, as if he knew.

\- Jim.

The man turns to him abruptly. Even in the dim light Groves can see the evil sparkles in his eyes. There’s another thing he notices - a gun in his hand.

\- Well-well, Colonel. Nice to see you _here_ , not in my wife’s bed.

\- Jim, you don’t wanna get in even bigger trouble, do ya?

Groves tries to speak in the calmest way he can, as he slightly raises his hands to show he’s unarmed. Well, of course Jim knows he has a gun, but Silas just tries to show he’s not going to use it without reason. _“Just not here”,_ \- he thinks. He doesn’t want her to hear, to get involved any way possible.

\- You don’t want to become a murderer, - he continues, - you escaped from prison, which already doesn’t make your situation better. You wanna screw the things up even more?

\- That’s right, Colonel, - Jim snarls, - I escaped. Which means I’m _already_ in a big fuckin’ trouble. And guess what else it means? I got nothing to lose.

The sound of a gunshot is almost deafening in the silence of the night. Everything happens fast, but despite the burning, yet familiar pain somewhere at the side of his abdomen, Silas manages to shoot as well, as he’s sliding down the wall to the floor. The right side of his shirt starts soaking with blood, he’s grateful though that the bullet is not in his chest. Jim growls, staggering on his feet - Silas shot through his leg, but, driven by his anger the man still manages to stand. The pain makes it hard to concentrate, but Groves lifts the gun to shoot again, leg again - he doesn’t want to kill him. Now Jim falls down on his knees, but as he does it, he manages to make another shot, aiming probably in Silas’ head, but the bullet only leaves a scratch on his shoulder, tearing up the clothes. Absolutely, completely ridiculous wound, but to his embarrassment, Groves’ hand betrays him and he drops the gun. Just a second that can cost him life. He hears another shot and a gasp, and for a split second he’s not sure what has just happened. He sees the bewildered expression on Jim’s face, and then…

He sees her. She stands there, a small gun in her shaking hand.

Jim’s still breathing and he’s still determined to complete his revenge, but this tiny moment of hesitation, caused by this woman is enough for Silas to grab a gun and shoot again, right before Jim pulls the trigger. He shoots once and twice, and Jim’s body falls on the floor.

It’s over. Silas doesn’t feel relieved though. Only exhaustion. Probably because the blood keeps dripping out of the wound on his side. As she drops the gun and presses her palms to her mouth, he wants to enclose her in his arms, but he knows he’s just not able to get up at the moment. She rushes towards him, drops on her knees.

\- Jesus, Silas… - She mumbles, - did I… did I just…

\- No, no, - he whispers soothingly, reaching out to run his fingers through her messy hair, - You didn’t kill him, sweetheart, that wasn’t you, that was me. But you… You saved me...

Her body is shaking as she hugs him, nuzzling into his neck.

His eyelids start getting heavy and he can hardly feel her warmth. Feels like the darkness is thickening around him.

She pulls away. There’s blood on her hands. His blood.

\- No… Silas, you’re hurt…

How ridiculous it is for _him_ , a man who fought in battles and survived? There he is now, bleeding on a kitchen floor. _“This life has a pretty dark sense of humor indeed”,_ \- he thinks.

At least she’s alright. Now he knows for sure she won’t get hurt.

\- Stay with me, Silas, you hear me?..

Her voice is echoing in his ears. She’s right here, holding him, but it seems like miles away.

\- You promised not to leave me… _You promised!_

She’s nearly sobbing, and he wants to reach for her, to tell her he’ll be fine, they both will now… But the haze is engulfing him, and her face is the last thing he sees before sinking into the darkness.

He’s not sure if Heaven exists, but he knows, just knows that her face is more beautiful than all the angels up there. The most precious. And even if he won’t see this face again, well...

That was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, what do you think? Will there be a happy ending for both Silases, or...? What would you prefer?  
> Only one chapter left :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe the final chapter is finally written!  
> It’s not very exciting in terms of events, but to make it less boring I tried to create some sort of intrigue, plus ONE MORE Rockwell character makes a surprise guest appearance here :D

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1892**

The little boy looks so much like his father. She thinks about it every time she looks at him. Even at such a young age, she already can tell. The boy’s soft brown curls look gingery-golden in the rays of sunshine, just like his, and the eyes… The eyes are definitely Silas’. She smiles, her heart filled with tenderness as she watches her son exploring the world around him. Small for now, yet it will grow bigger with him. The kid is fascinated by the patches of evening sunlight on the floor and the wall; he reaches his hands to catch them, and suddenly…

She gasps as she sees her child getting on his feet, holding carefully onto the chair, and makes the first couple of uncertain steps before collapsing on his bottom again. He looks like he surprised himself of what he’s just done, and she feels like she’s witnessed a miracle - her baby’s first steps.

\- Oh my… - she exclaims in awe, almost about to cry, - Your dad would be so proud of you!.. If only he saw this…

* * *

##  **New York** **, present day**

You stretch lazily, half asleep, and your body jolts, suddenly anxious, as you realize the bed next to you is empty. It’s only for a split second though, before the smell of coffee reaches your nostrils, and you hear the quiet rustles from the kitchen. He’s right here. _Where he belongs._

You get out of the bed unhurriedly, stretching again on your way to the window. Morning sunlight causes you squint as you draw back the curtains; it’s early, unusually early for you - the person who typically sleeps in on the day-off.

You look down, noticing something - Silas’ shirt casually thrown on the armchair. You reach for it and bring it closer to your face, inhale deeply. It smells like him, and you smile as your chest instantly fills with warmth. After a brief moment of hesitation you slip into the shirt, and it feels like the coziest outfit ever.

\- Hey there, - Silas greets you with a warm smile as you walk into the kitchen. - Morning.

\- Morning, - you reply, stepping closer and hugging him from behind. He’s wearing nothing except his boxers, and you enjoy the warmth of his body against yours. Suddenly it feels like everything is just the way it should be, as if your life was a puzzle and the only missing piece is finally found. Or as if you’ve been travelling for ages, and now you’re back home.

\- Why did you get up so early? - You murmur, pressing a kiss against his shoulder, - Do you have to go?..

\- No, - he replies, turning to face you. His fingers gently run through your hair as he looks at you softly. - I just… Don’t need much sleep, I guess. It’s a habit. When I just came back, I had huge problems with sleep - insomnia, bad dreams… Stuff like that. The therapist says it’s some sort of post traumatic stress, often happens to ex-soldiers. I’m working on it, so it’s way better now. I slept like a baby tonight, if you wanna know, - he chuckles.

\- Oh, that’s a good thing, - you smile back, leaning in to kiss him. His lips lazily trail from your mouth along your jawline and down the curve of your neck, sending pleasant shivers down your spine, - So you’re not in a hurry?

\- Yep, I plan to stay around for a while… Unless you wanna kick me away.

\- I actually hope you stay around for a long, long while, - you say, snuggling against him. - I think I want you in my life forever.

\- Good. We want the same thing than… Hey, what’s that? - He cocks his eyebrow, slightly drawing away from you. - Did you steal my t-shirt?

\- I guess so, - you grin at him cheekily.

\- Bold move.

He pulls you closer by the waist, and you cling to him as you kiss again slowly, savoring the moment.

\- So, what are we gonna do now? - You hush as your lips part.

\- Well, I figured I’ll make coffee for _you_ today for a change, as I’m an early bird here, - he winked, - How ‘bout that?

\- Coffee sounds great… But I’d take a shower first. And… - You smirk, blush creeping over your cheeks at the thought, - You could actually join me…

\- Damn, girl, - Silas chuckles once again, amusement mixed with lust sparkling in his eyes as his hand slides down your back and palms your backside, - That’s a tempting offer…

* * *

\- Where’d you get this?

You smile softly as the pads of your fingers run along a seemingly old scar on Silas’ side. You’re standing there naked in the warmth of the shower, and the feeling of intimacy is almost overwhelming. It’s not even passion of two lovers who just met; you don’t want to rush and devour each other - you’ve got plenty of time. For now your kisses are soft and languid while your fingers slowly explore each other’s bodies with all their curves, wrinkles, freckles and scars. Scars…

\- Is that an old battle wound?

\- Oh, this… - Groves chuckles, his fingers run up and down your spine absentmindedly as he holds you close, - No, I have it since I’m a kid actually, but it’s funny… because I absolutely don’t remember where I got it. But you know, boys… We used to climb in the most unsuitable places, so there’s always been all those scrapes, bruises and scars. My dad told me this one looked like an old gunshot wound, I thought it was pretty cool. It’s a bit creepy though, because he was right, it really looks like that.

\- Well maybe you got shot in one of your previous lives or something, - you say jokingly, leaning in to press a kiss along his collarbone.

\- Yeah, sounds like a reasonable explanation, - he snorts, nuzzling into your damp hair.

\- You know what… - you say thoughtfully, - I actually have a similar story about a mysterious scar. See that?

You show him a thin, barely visible scrape on your palm.

\- Pretty sure I just played and accidentally cut myself with a broken glass… As you said, kids always find ways to get hurt, you just can’t grow up without a few scrapes here and there, - you shrug. - The thing is, I don’t remember getting it, and my mom either. But the explanation is probably simple - I was too small, and with someone else, maybe my grandparents…

\- It’s a pretty weird coincidence that we both have scars we don’t remember getting… - Silas murmurs, as he brings your palm to his lips. There’s something incredibly tender when he presses a kiss against it. Sharing scars… Isn’t it the most intimate thing ever?

\- Yeah, but… I’m starting to think that everything about us is an um… Series of mysterious coincidences.

Silas chuckles as he presses closer against your frame and you feel his hardness when he gently lifts your thigh, placing your leg across his hip. The friction feels so good you almost moan.

\- You know, maybe your idea of previous lives isn’t so ridiculous after all… - He hums into the crook of your neck. - I think I’m about to believe in it…

\- It actually makes sense… - You sigh, closing your eyes and letting yourself melt in his warm embrace.

* * *

This whole morning you were in such a dreamy blissful state, seemed like the entire world outside your flat seized to exist - there were just the two of you and nothing else. It felt so strangely casual and familiar as if it’s been like that forever. As if you’ve been apart for a long while and now returned to your natural state of being together.

Suddenly a pang of anxiety drags you out of this quiet euphoria.

You poured coffee in your mug and are about to join Silas at the table when something behind the window catches your attention and you tense for just a split second before realizing it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you, and relaxing again. But Silas wouldn’t be Silas if he didn’t notice even the slightest change in your mood.

\- Hey, you okay? - He asks carefully, slightly furrowing his brow as he takes a sip of coffee from his mug.

\- Yeah, I’m fine, - you shake your head, smiling reassuringly, - I just… that car in front of the house looks a bit like Jim’s, so… But now I see it’s definitely not him, - you let out a nervous giggle, - Nevermind.

\- I really hate seeing you that paranoid, - Silas says. He speaks quite softly, making sure he’s not making you any more nervous, yet his tone is serious. - Actually I’ve been thinking about… this whole situation…

\- You’ve been thinking?..

\- Yeah, before you woke up. I mean… It’s really not okay, right? Do you agree with me? - you nod and he continues. - Y/n, have you ever thought of applying for a restraining order maybe?..

\- Oh, um… Actually I was hoping it wouldn’t go this far… You see, I really wanted to believe he’s an adequate person, but I’m not sure about that anymore…

\- Look, I don’t want to push on you or something, but it’s a serious matter, - his green eyes look at you with tenderness and concern. - I just want you to feel calm and safe, okay? And I know I can make you feel safe, but as much as I wish to, I just can’t be around _all the time_ , so…

\- No, Silas, of course you don’t have to be around twenty-four seven, I didn’t hire you as my bodyguard after all, - you laugh. - And I’m sorry, you really shouldn’t deal with my paranoia…

Silas’ hand gently covers yours and you entwine your fingers with his. There’s even more tenderness in his tone as he speaks again.

\- You don’t have to be sorry, y/n. It doesn’t depend on you. All I’m saying is that maybe restraining order would make you feel safer and more relaxed. And maybe Jim would finally realize you mean it when you say it’s over…

\- You’re right, - You nod, looking at his hand in yours, before facing him again. - It’s probably the most reasonable thing to do in this case. Only… I’ve never been in such a situation before, so I don’t even know where to start, like… Should I go to the police or something?..

\- Listen… My cousin is a lawyer. A divorce lawyer, to be precise… So I’m pretty sure he has to deal with this kind of things a lot. I could tell him about what’s happening and ask for advice…

\- Really, you could do that for me?

\- Sure, - Silas smiles, stroking your hand with his thumb. - I’m calling him right after breakfast, if you’re okay with that.

* * *

\- Thank you so much, Mr. Hunter.

\- No problem. Actually you’re just really lucky because normally I’m way busier… Oh, and you know, - The man smiled as he took off his reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, - You can call me Craig.

If you didn’t know that Craig and Silas are cousins, you’d probably think they’re brothers. There definitely is something similar in their looks, but you can’t quite catch what exactly, because on the other hand the men are very different. Craig is clean shaved and wears a suit. From the way he’s wearing it, with casual ease, you can tell it’s most certainly his typical outfit. You haven’t seen Silas in a suit, but you just know that he would feel a little awkward wearing formal clothes. Silas is one of those men who tend to look a bit scruffy (yet incredibly attractive in this scruffiness, at least in your eyes), and you could hardly imagine him in an office setting. Craig looks pretty much business-like, and it fits him well. Still despite all the differences one could easily tell these two people are relatives.

\- Alright, - you reply, smiling back, - _Craig_.

\- And once again, you don’t have to worry, - he says soothingly. - I’m pretty sure the court will accept your application. You have a bunch of witnesses who are ready to confirm that guy was stalking you. And you even have cameras in the bar… There will be no problems, trust me.

\- Thanks man, - Silas says. - We really appreciate it.

\- Hey, that’s my job after all, - Craig chuckles. - I have to deal with way more complicated cases every day. It’s crazy how two people who actually swore to love each other until the end can become the worst enemies, just like that…

\- With your job I’d already lose all faith in humanity, I guess, - you shrug.

\- And I did, at some point, not gonna lie, - he nods, - But then I met Megan… Oh, by the way, we’re having a little engagement party in a few weeks… There are no invitations yet, maybe we won’t even make any formal invitations… But just know that _you_ are invited.

\- Oh wow, congratulations! - Silas gives his cousin a big sincere smile, - I’m really happy for you!

\- Is that her? - You ask, nodding at the framed photo on Craig’s desk. It’s a picture of a really happy couple. A young woman smiles brightly, Craig’s arms wrapped around her frame. He smiles as well, and you’re sure they weren’t posing for this photo - the emotions were real.

\- Yes, that’s Megan, - Craig says, and the corners of his mouth curl into a soft smile. - She made me believe in love again, and hey, I don’t even care how cheesy I sound, - he chuckles.

\- You look really happy together.

\- We are. And… You know, - he narrows his eyes and the smile turns into a knowing smirk, - You guys look happy together too. At least, Silas, I can see a certain change in you.

\- Really? - Silas cocks his eyebrow.

\- Yep. After Meg met you for the first time, she told me you seemed a bit lost. As if you weren’t quite happy about quitting your military service and unsure what to do and where to go. She said she kinda could relate to this. I… Well, I didn’t pay much attention to that actually, ‘cause I’m not a therapist, but now I can see you really look different. Better.

\- Well, - Silas smiles softly, and you feel his hand drifting from the back of your chair to hug your shoulder, - Guess I’m just not lost any more.

* * *

##  **Somewhere in North Dakota, 1892**

\- What am I supposed to see?

She was so mesmerized by the view that she didn’t even hear her husband walking up the stairs. Only the sound of his voice brought her back, and she turns to him smiling, her arms reaching to wrap around him.

\- Hey, - he whispers, nuzzling into her hair, inhaling deeply. His beard tickles her cheek as he leans in to kiss her temple on his way to meet her lips.

\- _Silas_ , - she breathes out, as their lips part, - You have no idea what just happened! Our son… He just made his first steps!..

\- No way, really? - Silas’ face brightens up as he glances at the kid. The little boy recognizes him immediately and giggles happily.

\- Will you show your father what you can do, little man? - Silas asks softly, approaching the child and extending his hand. He didn’t expect the boy to repeat this “performance” specially for him, but suddenly, after the moment of hesitation, the little one slowly gets on his feet, makes a shaky step and manages to grab Silas’ finger with his little hand.

Silas feels his breath hitching in his throat. This little guy right here is a miracle, and he can’t believe this boy is a part of him, his best creation. And, dear God, he feels so blessed for having a chance to witness him growing up.

He still wonders what he deserved it for, but apparently heaven gave him a second chance when he literally was one foot in the grave.

He can hardly remember what happened on that night two years ago. He remembers the gunshot, sharp pain beneath his ribs; her pale face… He remembers pulling the trigger. Her face… damp with tears, terrified, yet still so beautiful. He remembers wishing to comfort her, but drowning in the deep haze until he passed out. Darkness, nothingness. He didn’t see the tunnel or the light in its end. He didn’t hear the angels singing, and he didn’t feel the hot breath of Hell’s fire. Just darkness. And then… Her face again, smiling with relief. Each breath caused his body ache, and with this came the realization - he was alive.

Thankfully, one of the guests from the inn used to be a doctor, and he just couldn’t be indifferent when the innkeeper’s wife rushed for his help with tears on her eyes. Together they managed to stop the bleeding before it was too late, and with the neighbors’ help, they transported Groves to the hospital.

Now as he stands there with this beautiful and brave woman - now his wife - by his side and holding his son’s hand, the memory seems distant as ever.

He thinks sometimes, maybe the reason he’s here now is that he made a promise to never leave her? But he also knows that even if he didn’t make it, even if he didn’t survive, he’d come back to her. Maybe in another life, where the things are simpler. He knows, because he still sees that “another life” in his dreams sometimes. In those dreams everything is different, surreal. They look, dress and talk differently and probably in that life they wouldn’t remember their past, despite the scars it left. But he knows for sure he’d recognize her, as well as she would recognize him, no matter what.

And he’d stay with her _forever._

##  ***:･ﾟ✧THE END*:･ﾟ✧**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and support!
> 
> I know this story turned out kinda cheesy and maybe too romantic, but the reason is I started it as a way to escape and my coping mechanism during the lockdown, so yeah. Do I really believe in soulmates or previous lives? Not really. But I do want to believe in it sometimes as well as I want to believe in fairy tales and happy endings :))) So why not. 
> 
> I was thinking about an angstier ending, but decided to stay cheesy until the end :D (as much as I’m insecure about writing baby stuff, I think Silas would be an adorable father and I couldn’t resist writing it)
> 
> Now, about sudden Craig appearance. I know it might seem weird to have two Sam’s characters from different movies in one fic, but this fic is already weird because it has both western and modern Silases :D And I saw fanarts/gifs where Gary King is Nicholas Angel’s cousin for example, so I’m not the first person who does that :D Anyway, hope you were glad to see him. 
> 
> Thanks again for liking/commenting and letting me know what you think about this story.  
> You are the best.


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